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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Return to the last chance saloon... over and out for The Gaurdian?
Michael Hunt
31 March 2005

Reports from London last night suggested that the struggling Gaurdian newspaper could possibly be on the brink of closure. According to a source inside The Gaurdian ‘Winding up the business is an option that apparently cannot be definitely ruled out.’

It is understood that Senior Executives may possibly be looking at a number of ways in which the business could maybe be restructured. These may include jettisoning the ailing newspaper division, allowing the group to possibly concentrate instead upon the more profitable print and distribution areas of the business. Alternatives possibly being considered, may include selling the newspaper’s pension fund to a major financial institution, e.g. Equitable Life.

One report from a media source last night said ‘Nothing has been ruled in, nor ruled out. Indeed, some awkward questions may have yet gone unasked.’

Lord Ibackedthewronghorse – a press advisor to New Labour – said ‘As a Government, we recognise the importance of a strong and independent press. In that regard, we will be monitoring closely and responding as necessary to any significant change in the structure of the UK’s national newspaper industry.’

Asked whether the issue of public support had been discussed during Gordon Brown’s recent visit to The Gaurdian, Lord Ibackedthewronghorse said ‘During the meeting a variety of issues were discussed and given the private nature of such meetings, it would be improper for me to discuss this issue further. However, I can place on record the Government’s commitment to the continued development of the media sector and we are determined that we will not be found wanting in that support.’

Industry analyst Royston Varsey said 'The future for The Gaurdian may look bleak. However many of the problems the paper is facing can be traced back decades. Quite simply the platform may well be past its sell by date, despite a facelift in the 1980s and more recently, the launch of a new compact edition. For decades, buyers have been deserting it in favour of more contemporary, fresher rivals.'

A statement may possibly be issued by The Gaurdian tomorrow.
 

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What goes around comes around. Maybe MG-R will start tp publish how badly run the Guardian is now, and how they are yesterdays news. Hehehe...

LOL, silly gullable me...
 

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Very droll John. Unfortunately, The Guardian got rid of its sense of humour and irony departments in a sell-off and lease back deal a few months ago in order to raise capital.

Problem was, they forgot to lease it back...

Shame really. If the Guardian were to disappear, I'd miss all the smelling pistakes - sorry, spelling mistakes and the four page retraction section of the paper every day. Its not a new thing, either. When Caxton invented the printing press, the Guardian headline was "Newt ecnolody spillls Ind to Mispronts". Allegedly.
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
Yup, you see what I've done is exactly what The Guardian do. Write a story that doesn't actually tell you anything... full of sources, possiblys, maybes and quotes from self-appointed experts that don't actually tell anyone anything.

Maybe I could make a career from it? Oh, sorry... as a Marketing Manager I already have ;)

John
 

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John, news just in. The Guardian has failed to secure a deal with a state owned Chinese Newspaper. Apparantly the Chinese government blocked the deal as they said that the Guardian had no more credibility left with the general public. A source who was close to negotiations said "The Chinese are concerned that the credibilty of their own media could be greatly damaged by any deal with the Guardian."
 

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I smell April Fools Joke here.........love it if it did go tits up...*** Labour number 1 Paper!

Cheers
Mega
 

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The Guardians long talked about tie up with SAIC has hit the rocks. The 62 contracts being worked on have resulted in Chinese and English typographical errors.

Shanghai spokesman 'Wing it large' has said he noa happy with em.

He say nobody at Guardian can speel proply.

Wing it went on to say we no wrap chips in Guardian if they noa get act togevver.
 

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Lord Ibackedthewronghorse – a press advisor to New Labour – said ‘As a Government, we recognise the importance of a strong and independent press. In that regard, we will be monitoring closely and responding as necessary to any significant change in the structure of the UK’s national newspaper industry.’
No, no, no. I refuse to believe Lord Ibackedthewronghorse was sober enough to say anthing of the kind. My sources say he said: "The Guardian? I never read anything but fox hunting weekly. Show us your bum. What nine in the morning already?... how about another Vodka and Vodka..."

John, you should always double check your sources.
 
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